I put an ad on Craigslist to sell a refrigerator that I no longer need. Within a few minutes I’m happy to report Micheal responded to buy it!
SCAMMER: Hi am Micheal I like to ask if this item is till available for sale and what the present condition it.
ME: Still for sale, someone is interested tho, its like new, 5 months.
SCAMMER: Thanks for the information Joshua I am interested in buying and closing this deal before anybody else the easiest mode of payment for me is by sending you a cashier check directly from my bank account to you overnight via USPS
, Kindly send me your full name and address to send the check out if you are interested . I also promise to handle the shipping myself once you have the cash at hand
ME: Awesome! Thank you Michael! Please send the check to:
15 Deerfield St #15145
Boston MA 02215
Sincerely with love respect hugs and kisses
SCAMMER: The check will be mailed ASAP,please note that the amount on the check will be shipping and handling charges inclusive so you will have more than $640on the check from which you will deduct $640for the payment , will counting on
you make the rest available to my shipper because I have other things he will be picking up for Me , I will notify you once the check is sent.kindly confirm the name.YouraSheethed
ME: Yup, that is correct. Youra Sheethed. It has been a pleasure to do business with such a professional person as yourself.
Few days later…….
SCAMMER: The Usps man just confirmed to me the check has delivered now and The amount i wrote is $2340,As our agreement that i have promised that iwont cause you any financial problem regarding the shipment, The extra fee payment on the
check is to cover the shippers fee pick up for your item and they have other items they are picking up for me , So that can cover all fee..
SCAMMER: Have you received/deposited the check already??
Hey, it’s me Robert, so the SCAMMER didn’t get an immediate reply from me because I was on an airplane. In the course of an hour, probably in a panic, Scammer then sent another 8 messages and called another 12 times every, 2 minutes.
ME when I got off the plane: You seem to have ants in your pants. You should have that checked. They can bite you know. Especially the red ones. One time that happened to me. I was VERY ITCHY. Are you itchy?
SCAMMER: Excuse me ?
ME: Ants in your pants. You called and texted like 20 times. Maybe it’s me but that tells me you have ants in your pants.
SCAMMER: The USPS confirmed to me check already delivered,so I wanted to be sure you’re in procession of it..i apologize for the inconvenience and would like to proceed
ME: I deposited it. It’s a lot of money!!!!! Thank you for the big tip. Youra said she will use the extra money for her hemorrhoid surgery. She’s very itchy.
Hey, it’s me Robert, so the SCAMMER didn’t respond to this message at all, I think maybe he caught on??!! So I messaged him 2 days later….
ME: When are the movers coming?
SCAMMER: I HAVE YOUR COMPLETE NAME AND ADDRESS,I WILL BE TAKING A SERIOUS LEGAL ACTION AGAINST YOU…. you will be hearing from my lawyer soon!
ME: Why? I thought we were friends? I like you. We have lots in common. We both are itchy!
Hey, it’s me Robert, so I didn’t know what Oloriburiku was, so I googled it. And the Urban Dictionary provided this definition: “Oloriburiku; Direct translation to bastard head meaning someone stupid or crazy with mad thoughts don’t use
it around Nigerian parent unless u want to die”
Apparently I’m not selling a refrigerator to Micheal. But at least I have a nice big fat check!